Friday, January 7, 2011
Day 7: Jewel of the Nile (1985)
PG, 1 hr. 46 min. Directed by: Lewis Teague. Release Date: December 11, 1985. DVD Release Date: August 14, 2001.
I should have known better. After my terrible experience watching Romancing the Stone, you'd think I'd have learned that I just really, really don't like this franchise and that I might, just might have avoided the sequel. But, the threat of impending boredom made me queue this up on my stream queue on Netflix. Actual boredom caused this to appear on my television.
Ridiculous set ups, highly dramatic, tense moments that bear even a bit of resemblance to reality, and lame characters that are more flaw than substance are characteristic of this franchise. It might try to be equal parts Harlequin romance and Indiana Jones, but both elements feel flat to the point of death.
Everything I disliked in Romancing the Stone is worse in Nile. The few things I liked in the previous film of the franchise are either worse or totally absent. Even a reappearance by Danny DeVito didn't save this from being terrible. If you like really sappy romances or read Harlequin novels and think they're good, you're probably going to dig this. Otherwise… skip it.