PG, 2 hr. 17 min. Directed by: Irvin Kershner. Release Date: October 7, 1983. DVD Release Date: October 17, 2000.
I’m still not really sure how this tag-along Bond film not only managed to get produced, but also managed to resurrect Sean Connery as Bond more than a decade after he officially retired and turned over this role to Roger Moore. This is living proof that sudden, inexplicable cast changes in the middle of a franchise lend themselves towards a bad movie.
Arguably, this is my least favorite Bond film of the series, with little, if any competition for that title. Okay, I might dislike Live Or Let Die almost as much, but even that movie was more viable in the long term than this steaming pile of crap.
Picture it. Kim Basinger, doing 80s-style aerobics complete with leotard and leg warmers. Now picture it again with Kim Basinger in 1983. I hope you can and the idea appeals, because that might JUST be the high light of the film.
The story is convoluted and strange, seemingly involving nearly every member of SPECTRE ever hinted at. Felix Lightner is another very noticeable cast change in this one, although actually I think they should have stuck with the actor who plays him here. I’m going on record to say that Basinger played the stupidest Bond girl (which is probably art imitating life), to include Tonya Robert’s turn at the stupid bat.
The chief bad guy is even more effeminate than Dr. Evil (we’re talking sweater tied over the shoulders effeminate) and vaguely weak looking. If he’d been an albino, I would have gotten it, but casting that willowy, pale actor didn’t make him very imposing, which in turn made me wonder why they didn’t just go out for pizza or something. Even worse, this movie is stamped with so much 80s crap, I was constantly on the lookout for the frogurt stand that seemed to appear in every movie in the 80s.
God I miss Penguins frogurt. With gummi bears. And DON’T JUDGE ME!
