Friday, July 8, 2011

Day 189: Catwoman (2005)

PG-13, 1 hr. 41 min.  Directed by: Pitof.  Release Date: July 23, 2004. DVD Release Date: January 18, 2005.

This movie was a total flop in the theaters.  I know.  I was one of like the 20 people worldwide who actually shelled out ticket price to see this piece of crap.  At the time, I lived in a fairly large city, and having a theater to myself was rare, but I was flying solo during this trek into the sad.  You would think in the wake of the successful superhero movies that there wouldn't be anything this bad running around.  I'd have expected something like this in the 80s or 90s, but not by this point.

Even being generous, you have to consider this a complete and utter failure as a superhero movie.  Granted, Catwoman isn't necessarily a hero, she's more... chaotic neutral, as my D&D friends might say, like to go either way depending on the circumstances.  But she's still kind of super, considering that she was resurrected by a magical cat and all.  Oh, and if you just sighed a little, when you read that, you weren't alone.

They could have done a bit more work on separating this movie from THE Catwoman, you know, the one most of us know from generations of Batman shows, both live action and animated, and of course, the second Batman movie in which Catwoman appears as a major player.  Since we've already been introduced to a Catwoman in the form of Michelle Pfeiffer in a swanky black leather catsuit, we had expectations that these filmmakers not only managed to fail to meet, they failed to acknowledge that there might be expectations.  There was no explanation as to how THIS kind of catwoman happens in comparison to, you know, running around and being psychotic.  Are we expected to believe magical cats run around in major American metropolitan areas with the express intent of resurrecting people who get murdered, or killed due to neglect?  

If this movie is considered merely a vehicle to highlight the sex appeal and beauty of Halle Berry, well, the film is a bit more successful.  She spends half the film running around looking like a dominatrix on the job, complete with whips.  I didn't entirely think that wasn't okay.  But, an hour and forty minutes of that was a little excessive.  At a few thousand bucks an hour, that kind of abuse gets spendy... not that I'd know.

What is odd is that I think both Halle Berry and Benjamin Bratt did really good jobs with parts that weren't exactly well thought out.  I was a little less impressed with Halle Berry's rant about being forced into what she called a "shitty movie."  It's called professionalism, and I'm guessing she's a little lacking in that trait.  She allowed herself to get roped in to the movie, made what I'm guessing was millions of dollars, and then proceeded to talk negatively about her product?  Nope, not allowed.  It made me a little less likely to see future performances of hers, no matter how much I think of her as an actress.  To be fair, a lot of my hate-o-rade is inspired because she reacted to her role as Storm in much the same way until she realized fans were eating it up and THEN wanted her own Origins story line?  Okay, yeah.  Cough cough give the role of Storm to Zoe Saldana cough.

Avoid this one at all costs.  Caveat watcher.