Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Splice (2010)


R, 1 hr. 40 min.  Directed by: Vincenzo Natali.  Release Date: June 4, 2010.  DVD Release Date: October 5, 2010.

I have to wonder if the “science” we witness here suffered from the Jurassic Park effect:  you know, it’s vaguely based on real science but could never be duplicated in the real world.  In some ways, this makes for good science fiction.  But, barely.  Some of what we witness in the telling of Dren’s (the creature cloned from random bits of DNA) story seems forced, and a bit too pat.  I’m still trying to figure out what bit of DNA cobbled together to form this new matrix might have spawned that prehensile tail with its poisoned spine, but it did make for one heck of a plot device.  Despite my questions, the effects are interesting to look at, although I find that Dren all growed up is more creepy than sexy, despite the posturing.  

I vaguely remember having a discussion about how everything George Clooney stars in becomes a “George Clooney” movie.  I’m beginning to think that Adrian Brody is the other side of that coin.  I’ve seen Brody in one or two movies that were off his normal patterns and realized that somewhere under all that crap is some talent.  But, unfortunately, what we normally get are his “Adrian Brody” movies.  For me, it’s a movie that generally lacks any real style or intelligence, but isn’t offensive.  If it was a color, it would be gray.  Some medium shade of gray that would go with just about every other color.  

There are worse ways to spend your time than with an Adrian Brody movie.  This is especially true if you’re just looking to kill some time, which is what was going on in my head when I popped this into my DVD player.  This wasn’t something I would have gone out of my way to see, even though it is the sort of movie I might find my way to in a theater.

I had trouble placing this movie using my Futurama-inspired ratings system.  When the movie was over, I was mostly satisfied.  But not enough to rave about this (I’m beginning to realize if this review was a color, it might be gray), and I’m thinking of that line from 10 Things I Hate About You, asking whether or not you can just be whelmed.  That’s pretty much how I felt about this.  Whelmed.