Thursday, February 16, 2012

Flowers in the Attic (1987)


PG-13, 1 hr. 33 min.  Directed By:  Jeffrey Bloom.  Release Date:  Nov 20, 1987.  DVD Release Date:  Apr 24, 2001.

When I was a kid, this movie made infrequent appearances in my life.  More than once, I heard my mother tell me it was “inappropriate” when it popped up on TV, and I heard kids whisper about it… those kids that had mothers that were far cooler than mine.  That actually seemed to be most kids.  Twenty-some odd years later, I’m wondering what the hell was so inappropriate.  I know the content of the book, but I’ve never read it because, well, I suspect I’m the wrong gender to be really attracted to anything V.C. Andrews writes.  The book was probably inappropriate for ten-year-old me, but the movie?  Not so much.

Every once in a while, I run in to a character that I’d like to punch until they stop twitching.  Flowers in the Attic is blessed with at least three such characters:  the grandmother, the mother, and Kristy Swanson’s character, which in my mind is kind of a direct step up from her portrayal of Buffy Summers.  This trio is really the film’s high point, as there wasn’t a whole lot else to really talk about.  Without the… kind of forced incest and physical abuse that I’ve heard has been described in the book, this story was more than a little dull.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrible what happens to these four kids.  But, it wasn’t enough to power a feature length film, and none of the cast except for Louise Fletcher, who seems way too comfortable in her role.  Even then, it’s not the world’s best performance.

I’m wondering if my dislike stems from what I’d heard about the movie, and the controversy that surrounded its presence in my life.  It’s not fair, but frequently with these older movies, the hype created by a movie causes more problems than it solves.  That hype has killed lots of movies for me, and this is just the latest.

You can avoid this in its entirety.  There are no great performances, no great lines, and what feels like an eternity of Kristy Swanson voice emoting.  I wish I’d known all this in retrospect, so I could have dodged this movie.