Basically, I’ll be spending most
of my free time in the theaters in June.
That’s not totally out of character, but I’m surprised at the wide
variety of movies that will be out.
Hopefully they’ll all be available in my area. That’s always the sticking point…
JUNE
High School – Adrien Brody, Michael Chiklis, Colin Hanks, Matt Bush
What? Me go see a teen comedy involving insane drug
abuse? NEVER! Oh, wait, that happens most of the time. I’m not thinking this will be a great
movie. I’m mostly hoping for a few mean
spirited laughs at the cast’s expense. I
was never a pothead, but I always found them to be hysterical, so who could
blame me?
Killer Joe – Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Thomas Hayden Church
I have a love/hate relationship
with black comedy. I love them
conceptually, poking fun at something horrible in an effort to shock, or maybe
to make something terrible not so terrible.
But, it rarely works out. I’m hit
or miss on making an effort to see this, and it’s mostly because of the
cast. I never like Thomas Hayden Church,
rarely like Matthew McConaughey, and haven’t liked Emile Hirsch since Girl Next Door. But, something’s calling to me.
Piranha 3DD – Christopher Lloyd
I didn’t think the Pirahna remake a few years back was all
that terrible, although I still have nightmares involving Jerry O’Connell in
those speedos. This sequel to the remake
(involving only one of the “original” cast members – a clear violation of my
sequel rules) suffers from a crazy unimpressive cast, and won’t make it high on
my list of priorities. But, I might just
go for the boob joke in the movie’s name.
I’m unpredictable that way.
Snow White & The Huntsman – Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth,
Charlize Theron
I like the idea of the grown-up
fairy tale, although Hollywood hasn’t been great on the delivery of the concept
, well, ever. The trailers make this
look like it’ll be something to watch, and I’m hoping that this will be Kristen
Stewart’s last non-Twilight film,
since she’s promised the world that she’ll be retiring and taking her boy toy
with her. Also, in WHAT bizzaroverse is
Mopey the Dwarf hotter than Charlize Theron?
As if.
Bel Ami – Christina Ricci, Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott
Thomas
Robert Pattinson continues his
efforts in maintaining the most ridiculous hairstyles ever in this period
piece. We know I love those, and I like
the non-Pattinson cast, so I have moderately high hopes for this. The trailers make it look decent, but we all
know how misleading those can be. I
might make excuses on this one, and I’m hoping it’s hard to find in the DFW
sprawl.
Prometheus – Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Noomi Rapace, Charlize
Theron
I have absolutely NO idea what
the hell this movie’s about, but I’ve been aching to see it since the first
trailers back in… February, I think. Sci
fi’s been at a premium since Avatar,
and I’m thinking for this to have the cast and the visual effects it has, there
must be a decent story behind it. I’m
also excited that this might be one of those Fassbender movies where he keeps
his pants on.
Rock of Ages – Tom Cruise, Russell Brand, Julianne Hough, Paul Giamatti,
Catherine Zeta Jones
Over the last few years, I think
Hollywood’s done a decent job reintroducing musical film. I’m thinking it must have started with Moulin Rouge, but I haven’t seen a musical since 2000 or so that I have
thought was bad. From the trailers,
there’s a great cast assembled and I’m not going to be complaining about the
music. So… I can’t think of a reason NOT
to go see this.
That’s My Boy – Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, James
Caan
After last year, Adam Sandler
needs to apologize to the world for Jack
and Jill, and this might just be that apology. While the situation is the usual ludicrous
chain of impossible events that you’d expect from Happy Madison productions, I’ve
been laughing at the trailers for a while now.
I’m actually going to be making a Sandler film a priority for the first
time in like a decade.
The Tortured – Erika Christensen, Jesse Metcalfe
There’s probably a good reason
that neither of these guys have been highly visible. Metcalfe appears and disappears at random,
usually dumping a terrible movie or two in his wake, although I have noticed
that when he’s not the focus of the film, it’s usually a decent movie that he
just happens to have a part in. If
nothing else, this might be worth going to for the violence.
The Woman in the Fifth –Kristin Scott Thomas, Ethan Hawke
This is probably going to be one
of those that I can’t find easily here in DFW, and I’m totally expecting it to
contain the grossest kiss since Madonna, Ned Beatty, and the spit lines in Dick Tracy, but I’m intrigued by what I
know of the movie. I may have to make a
trip to the Anjelika to see it.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter –Rufus Sewell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
There’s a lot about this movie to
draw concern. It takes itself WAY too
seriously. The cast is made up almost
exclusively of D-listers. It combines Glory with Buffy. It looks like someone
is trying (and failing) to channel Tim Burton.
I actually thought this was Tim Burton until a few weeks ago. But, the special effects that I’ve seen to
date look absolutely sick, and I expect the fight choreography to be
outstanding.
Brave
This won’t be a priority for me
because I don’t like the dirty looks I get when I go alone to a kids’
movie. I think the animation is pretty
decent, on par with Pixar’s best works to date, and it looks like it will be
pretty funny. I also appreciate that
Merida provides a really good female role model for little girls. From what I’ve seen, this isn’t no waif, and
she doesn’t put up with boy crap. I wish
the girls in my family had had her around when they were smaller.
Seeking a Friend For the End of the World –Steve Carell, Keira
Knightley
I’m on the fence here, since the
trailers make it look funny, but I haven’t really, really loved the last few
movies done by either Carell or Knightley.
I’ll probably wait and see if I can find a group of people going to see
this one specifically and tag along. Or,
I might just wait for Netflix. Either
way.
GI Joe: Retaliation –Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis
We know that I hate Channing
Tatum, but 21 Jump Street has me reassessing
my thoughts about him. What I think is
that he’s a terrible actor who needs the right role (and scene partner) to be
decent. I also think no summer month
should go without celluloid explosions and ninjas, so it’s not likely that I’ll
be missing this.
Magic Mike –Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, Cody
Horn
I’m not sold on this. What I’ve heard from the internet has been
mostly positive, but I’m pretty sure that I’m NOT the target audience
here. Considering that the cast seems to
be a whos who of my least favorite actors in Hollywood today, I may just wait
until other people see it first, and then make a decision based on what they
say.
People Like Us – Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks, Olivia Wilde, Michelle
Pfeiffer
I saw the trailer for this a few
weeks ago, and I was hooked. The movie
is about an uncommon but not impossible situation, and we watch a man struggle
to balance a father’s betrayal with his final wishes. With the exception of Chris Pine, who I’m
lukewarm on, I think the cast is pretty strong.
